


Happy Birthday, Nonny!

by Little_R



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hopefully It's Funny, Humor, M/M, Tiny Bilbo, Tiny Thorin, cuteness, kind of crack I guess, the Tinies, tinies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 18:15:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5753371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_R/pseuds/Little_R
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A birthday fic for the amazing and lovely <a href="http://non6ix.tumblr.com/"> Non6 </a> about her tinies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Birthday, Nonny!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it, Non6! Thank you for all your wonderful art and stuff!

"All right then." Balin said and looked proudly at the beautiful white and pink cake on the kitchen counter. He ignored the mess he and his tiny company had caused. And by that he meant that 99.99998% of it had been caused by the tinies... "Nonny's birthday cake is finally done after hours of hard work. Blood, tears and cu-"

"Mine!" an angry little voice interrupted his victorious monologue and Balin sighed and looked down at his, small, small, leader.

"What is it, Thorin?"

"Mine!" Thorin said again and jumped up and down in rage while wearing a mighty frown on his chubby little face.

"What do you want to have now?"

"MINE!" Thorin said and fell down on his backside in defeat, face red by anger but also tears in his eyes.

This did touch Balin's old heart and he picked up him, not making the tiny dwarf any happier. "What is it, Thorin? Have you lost something?" he asked softly.

He nodded, bottom lip wobbling as a proof that their great, and usually not emotional, king was close to tears.

Only one thing could get Thorin so upset.

"It's Bilbo isn't it?" he asked, the tiny confirming it with a nod and then a sad sniff. "Where is the lad?" Balin asked himself and looked around.

"MINE!" Thorin bawled out and Balin understood why their leader was so sad.

"Ah, you can't find him, can you? Don't worry, lad, I'll help you."

That made Thorin look up at Balin, eyes huge in awe and filled with gratitude. Would the old fart really help him find his husband? That they were not married was beside the point. Bilbo was his and his husband. His boo.

"Bo?"

Balin smiled and nodded. "Yes, Thorin. I will. Now that the cake is finally ready, I have time to-" he never should have said that the cake was ready. He should have known something disastrous would have happened right after he had said that. You should never say that things are okay.

A loud "BURP!" was heard, worryingly enough from the cake.

Balin turned his head so quickly he got whiplash and looked in fear as a small, light brown head popped up from the cake. A very familiar head that made Thorin shout out in joy.

"MINE!"

"Food!"

"Fuck!" Balin swore and sighed before giving and cry as Thorin, the little buggar, _bit_ him so he let go of him so he could reunite with his love.

"Mine!" Thorin cried out and threw himself onto Bilbo, who just continued sit on the cake and eat it. He hugged the tiny hobbit and started nuzzling their huge, adorable cheeks together.

Balin glared at the small beings. "You little... If you were not my king, I would teach you some manners." he muttered darkly and glared at Thorin, who just stuck his tongue out in reply.

"And you!" Balin turned to Bilbo, who was now chewing on Thorin's sleeve, even if he literally was surrounded by delicious cake. "What were you thinking? We made that cake to Nonny and you _ruined it_."

Bilbo finally seemed to realise what he had done. He glanced down at the mess with big eyes, eyes that were getting filled by tears as he realised he had destroyed his friend's birthday cake.

"Waaaaahh!" he bawled, big tears running down his chubby cheeks. "Waaaah!"

Thorin's face became red in rage and he jumped to his feet and ran to Balin, starting to poke his chest with a toothpick, aka his mighty sword.

For the second time that day, Balin felt his anger being useless against the tears of his adorable comrades. Not only were they the spawn of Melkor, they had the nerve to be utterly cute and irresistible too!

Balin started gently rubbing his big, hamster-like cheeks. "There, there, little laddie. We still have time and ingredients, right? We'll make another one, a better one. I'm sorry for raising my voice at you, little one." he comforted him with the same soft voice he had used on Dwalin when he had been a wee dwarfling.

Ah, his baby brother, the light in his stressful and hard life. He remembered when he had been a toddler and took his first little steps. He had immediately tripped on his beard, it had been so cute. Impressively enough, and to Kili's great dismay, Dwalin had been born with such a great beard that it was not until he was seven he was longer than his own facial hair.

Then Dis had cut it off when he was thirteen because he had teased her for having a shorter beard than him.

His brother was not the brightest one.

Anyway, Bilbo sniffed and stopped crying. He dried his tears and looked up at Balin. "Bo?" he asked in a small voice.

Balin nodded and moved to place a kiss on his cute, huge cheeks. "Yes, laddie. Bo."

Thorin gasped before he gave a battle cry and started throwing toothpicks at Balin, having an impressively sense of accurately. But no matter how well he hit Balin, the little wooden sticks still bounced off the dwarf. Foolish.

"Now let's go and make that cake."

"Bo!" Bilbo agreed and threw his little hands up with the sweetest smile.

"Mine!" Thorin shouted and jumped up and down in anger as he could not touch _his_ Bilbo.

"Now let's go and make that cake" turned out to be Bilbo insisting on tasting every ingredients and Thorin not letting go off Bilbo at any cost. It did not matter that Bilbo had to add sugar, or stir, or go to the bathroom, Thorin refused to let go. So Balin just put them on the ruined cake so Bilbo could eat and Thorin could cuddle his husband.

At least the tiny hobbit did not destroy this cake. Well not yet.

xxx

Nonny walked up to her door, rustling through her purse to find her keys.

"Please tell me Bilbo did not eat them. Again. Last time we had to take him to the hospital and Thorin would not stop crying..." she mumbled before letting out a victorious cry that would make the majestic King Thorin himself green of envy as she found her keys. And they were intact too. Although she did remember that she used to have a metallic fishnana attached to her keychain...

As she twisted the key and started to push the door open, she heard hushed voices from the other side of it. Very familiar voices. Nonny frowned at that _. I never gave Balin or the tines a key..._ Only them would annoy her at this hour. And on her birthday too.

She still decided, against all of her common sense, to not walk away but get inside and face whatever mess they had created.

Nonny opened the door and was actually for once when it came to the tinies invading her home without anyone responsible looking after them (they were adorable, but she had had to move three times now cause they had wrecked her flat) pleasantly surprised.

The whole living room was beautifully lit up and the whole gang stood around her dressed in party hats, tiny Gandalf and big Gandalf had one in wizard hat design. On her living room table, a white and pink cake was laid, looking absolutely delicious and almost too gorgeous to want to eat. Almost, she was so devouring that cake in the most sinful was possible.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"MINE!"

"UNCLES!"

"FOOLS!"

"TEENY!"

"Happy birthday, Nonny!" Gandalf greeted with a wide smile. "We've fixed you this party and made you this cake-"

"We? You didn't do shit, Gandalf!"

"Like I said. We." the old wizard continued to beam like he had not heard Balin's input. "And now I do believe it's time for-"

"Mine!"

"It's time for-!"

"Mine!"

"TIME FOR-!"

"MINE!"

Gandalf turned his head and sent Thorin a murderous glare. "Thorin Oakenshield, what are you doing?!"

Thorin just looked up at the big man with teary eyes. "Mine..."

"Oh!" Ori gasped and immediately went to comfort the little one. "Bilbo must be gone again! Poor little king..."

"Mine..." he sniffed and buried his little face in Ori's hands.

"But where could he be now-?" Balin started before something jumped up out of the cake.

Something that was very small, cute, had red cheeks and was dressed in a playboy bunny costume.

"FOOD!" Bilbo exclaimed and beamed at Nonny, writhing around and feeling very pretty.

"MINE!" Thorin yelled and bit Ori's hand to get to Bilbo.

Which caused Dori to lift him up and yell at him. Which caused Ori to beg his older brother to let him go. Which caused Balin and Gandalf to chide the group.

Nonny just stood there and starred before she felt a giggle slip past her lips. Soon she was laughing so much her tummy hurt and she had to clutch it and fight to not fall over.

_At least it's my most interesting birthday yet._

It was a pretty good birthday all considering. Even if tiny Bilbo and Thorin were cheap asses and only gave her a kiss on the cheek as their gift...

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you have a fabulous day! Please leave a comment on your way out! =)
> 
> [ My Tumblr ](http://littlestr.tumblr.com/) if anyone's interested.


End file.
